the friday five

So last week I was a very naughty blogger and didn't belt out a Friday Five.  Partly because I couldn't think of anything witty to write but mainly because I had a really busy week and kind of ran out of time.  My lovely friend from back in the high school days facebooked me and asked where the Friday Five was and I promised her I'd get back onto it this week.  So here we go with a post just for you JC.  And the several other thousands of you that swing by here every day (which, btw, stills blows my mind)  Enjoy...

#1  //  Being overwhelmed by the selection of Royal Baby Commemorative Magazine Issues on offer in the magazine aisle at the supermarket and not knowing which one to throw into your trolley. Also, spending too much time in said aisle wondering how you will keep the magazine in pristine condition  when it's lying in amongst your meat, veg and cleaning products.  And then wondering if your daughter might somehow cross paths with the new Royal Baby and you could possibly become his Mother In Law.  Not so much of a First World Problem, but more of a You Might Be A Little Bit Mental problem. (This one may or may not be based on actual events.  In my own life.)

#2  //  Having to endure feral/fugly/ffs photos in your pinterest feed.  Nobody, I repeat nobody, actually needs to know how to make their fingernails look like a blinged up rainbow.  

#3  //  Settling into a cosy Friday night at home with a glass of wine, your iPad & your favourite blogs, only to discover THERE'S NO FRIDAY FIVE TO READ.  I mean, how are you meant to laugh out loud after a hard day at work when there's no comedy on the internets?  And what if The Friday Five never returns?  And how come the blogger who writes this so called funny post each week thinks it's ok to mess with your Friday night?  Who the hell does she think she is? Yes, Slack, borderline Lazy Bloggers are a Massive First World Problem.

#4  //  I don't care what anyone says, having to make hardcore tough decisions each and every weekend is a Massive First World Problem.  Questions like do I  crack the Moet, the Mumm or the Veuve? And is eating really cheating?  And what do I do if I don't actually feel like having a drink?  Head to the nearest hospital for a full check up?  These are all huge questions and decisions that need to be made quickly and decisively.  I don't know about you, but I don't need that kind of pressure in my life. So I just stick the with same answers, "Whichever one is coldest" "Of course not.  Everybody knows smoked salmon canapes go perfectly with a glass of bubbly."  "You do feel like a drink, you just don't know it yet."  "No need to head to the hospital, but a quick visit to your local Westfield for some retail therapy should do the trick."

#5  //  Having to endure an entire weekend of no instagram because their system was down.  I mean, how the hell are we meant to know what we've all been eating and drinking?  Do we call each other and ask?  Or do we rock up to each other's houses at mealtimes to have a quick look at what's been dished up for dinner before buggering off home?  And what on earth are we meant to do with all the spare time we have when we can't photograph food, floral arrangements and our kids for complete randoms to look at, admire and possibly screenshot to their own phones to show other randoms?  It's the most Massive First World Problem of them all.